Fast-Spreading Mu Variant Causing Catlike Symptoms in Thousands

Fast-Spreading Mu Variant Causing Catlike Symptoms in Thousands

Litter Sales Soar as Americans Switch from Toilets to Litter Boxes

“Last night I woke up with this crazy urge to scratch everything in sight,” recalled dazed Becca L., a Mizzou freshman. “Then I climbed out the dorm
window and scampered up the roof!”
Pfizer and Moderna have reported some success with new vaccines derived from hairball follicles.

Bird Poop Attacks Blind Drivers in 10 U.S. Cities

Bird Poop Attacks Blind Drivers in 10 U.S. Cities

Eco-Extremists Use Sonic Tech to Weaponize Birds

Commuters across America were stunned to see their car windshields coated with falling bird poop yesterday. A group calling itself the “Eye in the Sky” is protesting the nationwide destruction of woodlands and bird preserves. Unnamed sources claim the Pentagon is negotiating with this eco-group to purchase it’s advanced technology