Missouri Man’s Mouth Vanishes After Wearing Mask 15 Months

“I pulled off my N-95 this morning, looked in the mirror, and my mouth was gone,” a Springfield, Missouri carpenter reported today. Forced to communicate with sign language, E. Bakewell explained that he had worn the same mask for 442 straight days. “Should help me cut down on all those Doritos,” he mused, trying to look on the bright side.