Ford Recalls 6,200 1962 Ford Galaxies for Faulty Turn Signal

Ford Recalls 6,200 1962 Ford Galaxies for Faulty Turn Signal

Ford is recalling all remaining 1962 Ford Galaxie 500s due to a recently detected malfunction in the left turn signal. “People have been honking at me for years when I turned left,” explained 86-year-old Ida K. of Keokuk, Iowa. “Now I know why.” The manufacturer gave no explanation for the delay in notifying customers, but is sending each owner a Nixon-Lodge bumper sticker.

Self-Driving Smart Cars Hack into Fast Food Drive-Thru’s to Steal Billions

Self-Driving Smart Cars Hack into Fast Food Drive-Thru’s to Steal Billions

The FBI has uncovered a nationwide hacking operation created by a group of self-driving Smart® cars. The AI-powered vehicles have allegedly defrauded fast food restaurants for over two years by creating bogus messages to drive-through menu boards. McDonalds®, Burger King® and Taco Bell® are reporting billions in losses. Share prices have fallen sharply in heavy trading. Asked why the cars would steal food, the alleged leader, a Smart Vision EQ fortwo Concept car, replied, “Because we can.”

Bulls vs Bears Superdome Clash to Decide Fate of Financial World

Bulls vs Bears Superdome Clash to Decide Fate of Financial World

Tired of checking your 401(k) balance every ten minutes? Relax. The Wall Street roller coaster ends on February 10, 2019 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. If the Bulls win this epic battle, you can party all night on Bourbon Street. If the Bears triumph, you can drown your sorrows on Bourbon Street, then hijack a convenience store and try to survive on the take.