While most people complain about being hacked, an increasing number of unhacked people are feeling alienated and ignored. “Nobody seems to want my personal information,” laments one psychologist’s patient. “I’ve spent a lifetime creating servers full of data. And nobody cares.” Support groups for the unhacked report a 300% increase in membership.
These days your waiter can spend as much time extolling a trendy porter as a sommelier describing a bottle of Pinot. So if you like wine but want to fit in with your beer snob friends, ask for a glass of Beerwine. It looks and pours just like beer. But tastes like a fine wine.
Prefer beer? Ask about new Winebeer.
Suds for connoisseurs
North Korea has reportedly created thousands of kimchi-loaded bombs that can be launched pretty much anywhere. A spokesperson for the Defense Department denied reports the U.S. is funding research on a retaliatory super-sized ghost pepper burrito.