Turkey Invades Grease

Turkey Invades Grease

Armies of Birds Threaten to Cover Millions of Kitchens in Grease

With feathers flaring and claws bared, turkeys have been sighted heading for homes all over America. The predicted result: happily stuffed family members and grease-spattered kitchens. “Love cooking. Love eating. But clean-up is looking to be another epic horror show,” lamented one seasoned cook.

Toddler Impersonators Arrested in Nationwide Pre-School Bribery Scheme

Toddler Impersonators Arrested in Nationwide Pre-School Bribery Scheme

Wealthy Parents Paid Former Teachers to Ace Wechsler and Olsat Admission Tests from Top Nursery Schools

The FBI has taken into custody the mastermind of a nationwide pre-school admission network. “I couldn’t resist,” explained one embarrassed ex-pre-school teacher.“ They offered us unlimited quantities of Honey Nut Cheerios® and vintage Legos.® ” Another admitted, “Those Oshkosh® pants were getting a bit snug.”

Screaming Child Terrorizes New York to LA Flight

Screaming Child Terrorizes New York to LA Flight

New Jersey Infant Screams for Entire Flight Across U.S

Demanding his lost “Dipey,” 7-month-old Brian J. was able to keep a cabin full of adults on edge for an entire flight across the U.S. After abandoning all hope of a nap, many passengers reportedly started screaming along with Brian. “Next time I’m bringing a suitcase full of pacifiers,” said one groggy traveler.