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Volume CVI No. 68
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  • Breaking Wind
  • Human Interest

Last U.S. Toilet Paper Under Siege at Phoenix 7-Eleven

Last U.S. Toilet Paper Under Siege at Phoenix 7-Eleven

Store Clerk Holds Off Desperate Gun-Toting Mob for 72 Hours

Led by a desperate father of 9, a group of pistol-packing locals has surrounded the East Camelback Road 7-Eleven for over three days. “We know there’s a 12-roll pack in there,” said Bret S., an off-duty security guard. “And we’re gonna get it.”

[pi•tahrd] 1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare

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