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Volume CVI No. 68
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  • Breaking Wind
  • Sports

Olympics Adds Marathon Handwashing Competition

Olympics Adds Marathon Handwashing Competition

Mattress Jumping, Rec Room Relay Races Also Added

An I.O.C. spokesperson confirmed that handwashing is now an official Olympic sport. “A Toronto colorectal surgeon has reportedly washed for 43 hours straight,” he noted. “With all the practice people are getting, the competition looks to be quite spirited.”

[pi•tahrd] 1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare

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