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Volume CVI No. 68
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  • Breaking Wind
  • World

Secret Canadian Syrup Pipelines Sweetening U.S. Ecosystem

Secret Canadian Syrup Pipelines Sweetening U.S. Ecosystem

Network of Covert Maple Syrup Pipes Pours in 15 Million Gallons Each Year

A nationwide geologic survey recently revealed that U.S. soils now contain 18% maple syrup. “When my wife Augustine started using tomatoes to sweeten our desserts, I knew something was up,” revealed Iowa farmer, Chuck H. “Guess those Canadians ran out of room for it.”

 

[pi•tahrd] 1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare

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