Congress Votes to Replace Flawed U.S. Election System with Rock, Paper, Scissors

Vying Candidates to Fling Fingers in Public View to Decide Contests

Citing vulnerability to hacking and frequent recounts, the U.S. is moving to a simpler system. “We may never simplify the tax system,” explained one Congresswoman. “But at least we can dumb this thing down.” Primary candidates will compete in best two-out-of-three. November candidates will make it best four-out-of-seven. Consulting firms specializing in game theory should be quite busy.