River Seine Earns 3 Stars for ‘Piquant’ Brown Sauce

The Michelin Guide has awarded its coveted three-star rating to the recently reengineered River Seine in Paris. Swimmers training for the upcoming Olympics have hailed the famed river as an enchanting blend of beef stock, dark brown roux and mirepoix. “Incredible flavor! This may be the first time I gain weight during a race,” exclaimed one triathlete.