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Volume CVI No. 68
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  • Sports

Pro Football Scouts Secretly Scan Embryos for Future Talent

Pro Football Scouts Secretly Scan Embryos for Future Talent

Two whistle-blowers have confirmed new in-utero technology that can predict which future kids will be able to run a 4.2 40 or toss a pigskin 70 yards. A pro spokesperson refused to confirm reports of covert labs altering DNA to enhance gridiron skills.

[pi•tahrd] 1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare

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