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Volume CVI No. 68
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New Protective Pro Football Uniforms Expected to Reduce Injuries

New Protective Pro Football Uniforms Expected to Reduce Injuries

Due to the increasing number of concussions and season-ending injuries, the league will introduce new padded uniforms in 2019. “We lost so many players this year, we’ve had to recruit in high schools and nursing homes to find replacements,” lamented one pro coach. “But those new unis should do the trick.” Say good-bye to 4.4 40’s.

[pi•tahrd] 1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare

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