Toddler Impersonators Arrested in Nationwide Pre-School Bribery Scheme

Wealthy Parents Paid Former Teachers to Ace Wechsler and Olsat Admission Tests from Top Nursery Schools

The FBI has taken into custody the mastermind of a nationwide pre-school admission network. “I couldn’t resist,” explained one embarrassed ex-pre-school teacher.“ They offered us unlimited quantities of Honey Nut Cheerios^® and vintage Legos.^® ” Another admitted, “Those Oshkosh^® pants were getting a bit snug.”